Marry Me
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I don’t like things to stand in my way. Obstructions often block the way to things all of us want, and life seems to be one long lesson in finding ways around these road blocks. Some of us are more creative than others, and some people use the difficulties they find in life to create new solutions. Anytime there is a problem, there are probably thousands of ways to solve it.
I swore never to be married until I was 25, although I’m not sure why I chose that arbitrary number. Then I got to college and found out most people are trying to get an education, get a job and find a mate. It’s an exciting time of life, and I was caught up in the search. I knew what I wanted to be, and the educational path I was going to follow, but was I going to follow this path alone?
I fell in love with my wife seeing her perform. As a dancer and an actress she won my heart. I knew we would be the perfect couple. We appeared in some stage plays together, and eventually ended up dating. Then came the inevitable day when one of us would get cold feet. Luckily, it wasn’t me. She used the old standard “I think we should date other people” to try to distract me, but I didn’t buy it. She was mainly afraid, and I knew some ways to deal with that.
Usually, when someone says, “I think we should date other people” that means the relationship is basically over, and you are being kept around for giggles. Maybe as a fallback. But just like any other obstacle in my life, I knew there was a couple of ways to make her change her mind. I probably only had one opportunity to get it right.
So here is how I tricked my wife into marrying me. I knew she was scared of what the future might hold, so I decided to give her a little view of one possible future. I said to her I thought if she wanted to date others that would be a good idea. I also asked her if she had a couple of tickets to her upcoming dance concert. I’ll bet you can see where this is going. I didn’t say it would be pretty.
So I got my two tickets and got a date and went to the concert. I made sure I sat down right in the front towards the right. I probably knew that is where my future bride would be dancing, but if not, it was a great guess. She did a great job, and even though I am sure she wanted to shoot me, she simply danced her very best.
Later she told me she was so angry she could hardly see straight. She was really, really mad I had used the free tickets she had given me to bring a date, and then sit down in the front where she would have to look at us. I really didn’t have to say much at this point, because I knew this solution to her objections to getting married only had two outcomes. She would be glad I was moving on, or she would realize she really did care about me, and I might not be around and available forever.
I probably just said something stupid like, “So I guess you don’t want me to date other people?”, but when the movie is made, I want my character to say something classy like, “I guess this means you really do love me.” Slow dissolve fade into the romantic wedding.
I think this may have been my only proposal, because after this we planned on getting married and chose a date. I was in a stage play, and had limited time at night since the show was going to running when we wanted to tie the knot. We had planned on a Saturday just to give us more time, but with impromptu marriages you have to visit the justice of the peace on a day when she is in session. We went to Preston, Idaho on a Friday instead and Justice Ann Davis performed a lovely ceremony.
Our wedding dinner was root beer and onion rings at A&W, and we dashed back to the college for that night’s performance.
I have the world’s best wife. Think about this. I was married Friday afternoon, and on Friday night I was kissing another woman on stage. This other woman wasn’t the best kisser in the world since she had an overbite and this cuts down on suction. But my new bride didn’t have a problem with it. Like I’ve said before, I am one lucky guy. Let’s hope my luck lasts.
Another episode of "Dane Allred's Partly-colored Dreamcoat", this 5 minute pocast/800 word blog is also available at www.daneallred.blogspot.com and www.daneallred.podbean.com, and is available for public use as long as Dane Allred is credited.
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