Not Really Indecent

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When I think back to what I wore in college, I’m not really sure why my wife ever married me. Most of us must have looked the same, but I was known around campus as the guy who walked around in Levi shorts with his boxers hanging out the bottom. I know that’s conjuring up a bad mental image, but I also wore a felt fedora. I don’t know why. I just thought I was being original just like all the other original people who looked just like me.

Decency really is a matter of perspective. My wife is a dancer, and the level of indecency backstage at a dance concert would shock most of us, but to the dancers the human body is their instrument. Changing clothes as fast as you can in front of everyone else is standard, because most of the time the dancers have to get right back on stage for the next number.

What is accepted in one part of the world can be vulgar in another part of the globe. Traditions from the past can seem barbaric, and who knows what the future will bring? When you think about what is decent and indecent, it really does come down to what are the accepted community standards.

When we consider what is a decent standard or living, it becomes even more specious. The word decorum is also another way to talk about what is proper or improper.

Decency can also be explained when we think about politeness, civility, modesty, integrity or honesty. It seems as a society we are less decent to each other, and it shows up in public discourse and in the newspapers and on television. There is an extraordinary clip on the Internet of a woman bashing a drive-up window and pulling the hair of the attendant because she couldn’t get what she wanted. It seems there really is no customer service these days, and it doesn’t seem to be a priority with most businesses. I wore a full scroungy beard this summer for a part I was playing at the Sundance Outdoor Theatre. I have never been treated with so much disrespect and unconcern. It makes me feel sorry for those who look different and are treated as inferior. It makes me wonder if Albert Einstein was wandering the streets today if he would be treated as a genius or a crazy homeless man. It really is a sad statement that after all the hate and division we have seen in the few thousand years of human history, we can’t let each other be what we are. Perhaps it just comes down to a basic insecurity with ourselves. We aren’t happy unless we are making others emulate our happiness.

When we apply the word decency to our standard of living, we tend to split into the regular divisions. A decent standard of living for you might be luxurious for someone else. When we think about the gap between the very poor and the very rich, we exist in a society which has begun to view people as disposable, instead of individuals. As a society, we ought to be able to find ways to train, educate, and motivate people to lift themselves from crushing poverty. But when it looks like someone will lose money and someone else gain, then the line has been drawn. I know there is a way to raise everyone, but we really aren’t interested in doing it, because we don’t want our own standard of living affected.

But what does it really take to have a decent standard of living? I think it includes shelter and food. It should include access to medical treatment. Is there really anyone we want to throw out into the street? But I already have a bad attitude about most of what has been proposed. If you don’t believe that, listen to my episode called “Spare Change” from “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Dane Allred”. Let’s just say I am not the best example of largess and compassion.

So that leads us to decorum. Can’t we at least be on our best behavior, exhibiting good manners and a respect for one another? The word restraint could be used to describe what would be considered proper. Why can’t we all just get along? It seems that these days, the more rude or crass you can be, the more accepted you become. Those who receive the attention today are those who seem to have no manners, no sense of etiquette or what is proper or improper. But then this point seems to contradict what I said earlier about letting people be themselves. Decency is a complicated proposition.

Don’t ask me to fix it. I’m the guy who used to have his underwear hanging out.