Too Much Money

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Dane Allred seeks to combine the best of podcasting and blogging in 800 word blogs turned into 5 minute podcasts. They are broadcast live every Sunday on KTKK AM 630 from 7 to 8 p.m. (Mountain Standard Time), and are also available at 1001Thanks.blogspot.com. Watch for his upcoming book, “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Dane Allred”.

Too Much Money

Is there such a thing as too much money? I don’t think I want to be tempted by the lure of riches, and as a teacher, I probably never will be. It’s been a good career for me, and I love what I do, even if I will never be rich from my profession. But there are times I think I am overcompensated, and these usually involve some of my other activities.

I shot a commercial Wednesday where I was paid $500 to model my overweight pasty white back. It’s a commercial for a patch, and they wanted a picture of my back, so I had my wife take one with my camera phone and I e-mailed it to the client. It’s a strange thing to have someone else want to display your back for their product, and I don’t know if I’m comfortable with this kind of exposure – pun intended. I was definitely overcompensated. But these are the kinds of special occurrences in my life that make me wonder about the universe.

I love the abundance I see everywhere, and getting paid this kind of money for baring my back is a strange way to celebrate abundance. Don’t get me wrong – I won’t turn down the money, it’s just that I think it’s ludicrous to get that kind of money for one day’s work, especially when I consider some people in the world never make that much in a year, let alone in one day. But there definitely is something strange about getting paid to make a commercial about a pain patch. But stranger things have happened, and I hope this isn’t the last time I get a chance to do something different.

I did get overpaid one time when an advertising agency saved a bunch of money by filming in Utah. This commercial was supposed to be about how MCI was the telephone company of the future. Somehow it had something to do with driving the Golden Spike, so when the company budgeted three million to shoot it, they had quite a bit left over. Since the Golden Spike Monument is a national park, there was no cost to use the site. When all was said and done, the extra money had to be spent. You know how that works. If you don’t spend the budget you are given, then your budget will be reduced the next time.

It really shouldn’t be this way, but it is one of the problems of business. I had already been paid too much to pose at the top of a telegraph pole, peering off into the future seeing what a great company MCI would become. I got two hundred dollars for spending two days pretending to be building the first transcontinental railroad. The workers who slaved away and risked their lives only got $35 dollars a month. Yes, that was many years ago, but it still doesn’t make it right.

Since there was extra money, the company shooting the commercial called me up and asked if I would like to be bumped up to be a featured extra. They sent me a check for $3000, and all I had to do was sign a paper. Like I said before, it’s overcompensation, but who turns it down when it’s offered?

I really only have two rules that apply to almost all situations. Number one is “They will take your money.” I have found this to be true in most cases, even when a deadline is involved. I was admitted into a Master’s program at a major university nine months after the “deadline”, and I only had to pay a late fee. I think it was fifty dollars.

Rule number two does have some qualifications, but it is “I’ll take their money.” There are some things I wouldn’t do for money, but we don’t need to list those here. Let’s just say if it’s not immoral or illegal, I will probably take money to do it. Lift sheetrock over my head and hold it while an old guy tries to screw it in? No problem. Castrate pigs? Also no problem. Risk my life cutting trees with chainsaws miles from civilization? Again, no problem.

I’ve even been paid to say words I really don’t want my daughters to hear, but they are understanding as long as I am playing a character. I don’t think you could pay me to swear at them. I’ve done that without pay, and I’m usually sorry after. That being said, I know there are people in the world paid to do bad things, and I don’t want to be like that. I like being paid to do good things best. But if I have to bear my back to make a buck, just watch my shirt come off.