Accepting Difference

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Accepting Difference



Tax day is coming up. One of my favorite days is tax day, and it’s not because I like to pay taxes. But I do like to procrastinate. This means I am often filing my taxes on the last day, at the last hour, and waiting patiently in line at the post office with the dozens of other cars lined up to hand our tax returns to a faithful postal employee. The post office really steps it up on tax day.

They stay open late, and even wait outside the post office to gather the mail. They want our tax returns to be post-marked correctly, and I don’t know if they still get government funding, but it does make a kind of sense if you think of it. As federal employees, they do want the federal government to continue to function. But that’s not the point.

The great feeling I get when I am lined up like others like myself is a great confirmation. There are others out there like me, others who procrastinate and wait in line to pay their yearly bill or received their refund. I usually get a refund, which makes my delay kind of idiotic. You would think I want the refund sooner. But I really like the feeling of community I get when I wait and turn in those forms with the other people like me.

We are social creatures. We like to feel accepted; like we belong. This is one of the reasons I will continue to say we are more alike than we are different. We like the unity we feel in a group, the togetherness and the oneness we experience when we are with others we feel are like us.

There really is no other way to explain motorcycle groups. Or Civil War re-enactors. Or those who attend burning man, nudist colonies, and those people who attend heavy metal concerts. I don’t have problems with any of these groups, but merely use them as examples of people who congregate.

One of the mysteries of community is how we fear those not in our group. If someone is different, they must be suspicious. They can’t possibly want to be part of that group for the same reasons we like to be part of our group. Right now, I need to learn to be more tolerant of snowboarders.

Since I like to ski, there seems to be a natural animosity between skiers and snow-boarders. I’m not sure why this division exists, but it seems to run along the same lines as school loyalties. You know the school your school hates, but you probably can’t really tell me why. You just know that school is the worst, and hate it with a passion. Deep down, you know good people go to that school, good teachers and employees work there, and there really is no reason to hate. But we still do.

I like skiing where there are no snow-boarders, and there are a couple of places like that where I ski. The main reason is the last “close encounter” I had with someone skiing on a single board. I was stopped at the side of a path when a snowboarder collided into me. He hit me hard enough to knock me out of my skis, and several people stopped to see if I was still alive. It was a really solid body block, and left a nice bruise all along my left leg. All the departing offender could shout back was, “Sorry, man, I can’t carve!”

I really don’t hate snowboarders; they just aren’t part of my group, and I know that’s where the animosity comes from. I’m trying to become more accepting, and I know there are other groups I need to stop suspecting. We can all think of those groups we want to hate, even though we really can’t think of a good reason to continue the hate.

Are we really so different? We are born into the same world; we have the same needs. We are born into families that love us and care for us. We grow in communities that want everyone to succeed, to feel accepted and needed. As we progress as a society, we want to help those who can’t help themselves. We all want to be independent, and pursue our own goals. Society is designed as a support for those who want success, who want to help, who want to serve.

Cheer on those others who are like you. They may be waiting in a tax line, or skiing down a hill with you. But remember the value of the desires and goals of those who may be different. They want to succeed; they want to make a contribution just like you. How can we all help them along?