John Wayne on Character Central

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This interview is based wholly upon real quotes by John Wayne.


Leo
Character Central, home of the formerly famous, this is Leo speakin’.
Dane
Could I speak to Marion Morrison please?
Leo
Who?
Dane
The Duke?
Leo
No dukes, here, buddy. Oh, you mean John Wayne!
Dane
Yes! Could I speak to John Wayne, please?
Leo
That’s gonna cost ya.
Dane
Could we put this on the Bill Gates card, please?
Leo
Oh, is this dat Abundance guy again?
Dane
Yes, this is Dane Allred.
Leo
No, that guy who is always talkin’ about all the good things he sees in life?
Dane
Yes, that’s me. Dane Allred
Leo
No, that ain’t right.
Dane
I do talk about 1001 things I’m thankful for.
Leo
That’s the guy. Mr. 1001 Thanks.
Dane
Yes, that’s me. Dane Allred.
Leo
No, that still ain’t right. But I’ll go get Marion.
(off-phone)
Johnny – Dukey baby. It’s Bill Gates on the phone for you.
Dane
No, it’s not Bill Gates. We just use the card I found…
John Wayne
This is the Duke speaking…
Dane
John Wayne!! It is such a pleasure to speak to you. I’ve really enjoyed every movie I’ve ever seen you in.
John Wayne
Well, I’ll tell you pilgrim, there are some things a man just can’t run away from.
Dane
You are a classic American icon.
John Wayne
I`m an American actor. I work with my clothes on. I have to. Riding a horse can be pretty tough on your legs and elsewheres.
Dane
Yes, that could be painful.
John Wayne
When you come slam bang up against trouble, it never looks half as bad if you face up to it.
Dane
You do have a great attitude. Thanks for sharing it with our listeners.
John Wayne
Well, I’ve always said, when the road looks rough ahead, remember the Man Upstairs and the word Hope. Hang onto both and tough it out.
Dane
That’s exactly the kind of thing I was hoping you would say.
John Wayne
I won’t be wronged, I won’t be insulted, and I won’t be laid a hand on. I don’t do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.
Dane
Another good piece of advice.
John Wayne
Get off your horse and drink your milk.
Dane
I’m sorry?...
John Wayne
Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
Dane
Stupid?
John Wayne
Talk low, talk slow and don't say too much.
Dane
Am I talking too fast?
John Wayne
You can`t whine and bellyache because somebody else got a good break and you didn`t.
Dane
I’m sorry if you think I’m whining…
John Wayne
A man's got to do what a man's got to do.
Dane
Um, yes. Mr. Wayne, is there a way you would like to be remembered?
John Wayne
I would like to be remembered, well . . . the Mexicans have a phrase, "Feo fuerte y formal". Which means he was ugly, strong and had dignity.
Dane
Ugly? Really?
John Wayne
I have tried to live my life so that my family would love me and my friends respect me. The others can do whatever the hell they please.
Dane
Again, good advice. Any advice for the future?
John Wayne
Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday.
Dane
Very good. I hope we have learned something today. Any advice about women from the manliest man of American film?
John Wayne
I've had three wives, six children and six grandchildren and I still don't understand women.
Dane
Yes, Abraham Lincoln said a woman was the only thing he was afraid of that he knew wouldn’t hurt him.
John Wayne
Courage is being scared to death... and saddling up anyway.
Dane
I guess there is no answer for the fear.
John Wayne
All battles are fought by scared men who’d rather be someplace else.
Dane
I can’t believe you only received one Oscar for Best Actor.
John Wayne
You can’t eat awards -- nor, more to the point, drink ‘em.
Dane
Hard living and hard drinking.
John Wayne
I never trust a man that doesn`t drink.
Dane
John Wayne, thank you so much for being with us today.
John Wayne
A man ought to do what he thinks is right.
Dane
That’s right, and again, thank you for speaking with us from Character Central.