Thursday, February 16, 2012

An Evaluation of English by Dane Allred

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An Evaluation of English


An evaluation of English


Shouldn’t we say evaluation the same way we say evaluative -- with a long a, evaluative?

After a careful evaluation, I found the evaluative conclusions to be correct.

It doesn’t sound right unless you use an English accent -- I found the evaluative conclusions to be correct.

But it also sounds right if Bobby Ray says it that way -- I found the evaluative conclusions to be correct.

I feel sorry for someone trying to learn English. Evaluation, evaluative, evalu-A-tive.

Shakespeare probably used an accent closer to the Appalachians than today’s clipped and proper English. It is easier to understand if Bobby Ray recites Hamlet.

Ta be or not ta be, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposin’ end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?


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