LITERATURE OUT LOUD
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That melodic tune must mean it’s time for another episode of philosophy by Markus Tenacious Noggin.
I've descended from a long line of prestigious Noggins, and my momma said I was resolutely tough. Maybe that's why she named me Markus Tenacious Noggin.
Mr. MT Noggin at yer service.
Same but Different
I shouldn't get so upset, but it seems to me we are all just a bunch of fools. High-falutin' advertizin' has fooled me before, and I just wanted to share today some of the things I've learned as I've been fooled outta more money than I’ve ever made.
Now I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I am smart enough to read the labels on packages, as I so ably demonstrated with those deceptive Girl Scout cookies.
But most of us are content to pop those pills from the pharmacy without a second thought. But you may want to start readin' then labels, since you are being hogswaggled everytime you buy them headache pills.
I can't mention the name of this famous migraine and headache medication, but suffice it to say it's probly one of the best sellin' on the market.
But if you take the time to git one package of the extra-strength and hold it next to the migraine package, you are gonna find out somethin' amazin'.
Two different products, right?
Two different labels, marked for different purposes, right?
Then will someone please explain to me why these two different products made by the same company have the exact same ingredients?
That's right. Look close at those labels, and you'll see they are the exact same formulation, down to the extry caffeinne.
Talk about a placebo effect. We buy something we think is gonna help us, and because we believe it is gonna help us, it does.
And don't forgit that caffeine. These little pills have got more git up and go than a can of Coca-cola. Each.
Let's examine these labels a little closer. Each pill contains 65 milligrams of caffeine, which is the same as a 12 ounce caffeinated soda.
I really like the kick when I drink a Coke and take a couple of headachy pills with the extra caffeinne. I feel like I could climb Mr. Everest.
So, not that I'm complainin', but it is funny to me that we don't really pay all that much attention to what we eat and drink.
And don't git me started about the fat content in most of the food, and the fact that most of the food we eat has something called maltodextrine.
I don't know what it is, but anything with the word malt in it is okay by me. Put in an extra scoop for me, cause there ain't nothin' I like better than a tall, ice-cream malt shake. Especially if'n it contains bananaers and chocolate.
But enough about my expandin' waist. They say an adult is someone who has stopped growing up and down, but not sideways.
Here's one to check out. You may like that tall glass o' chocolate milk, but you might want to check first to see if it contains carrageenan.
Accordin' to an internet article on the Learnin' Channel, this popular food thickener is considered a gum.
That's okay so far. I like gum. And thickenin' food up ain't no sin in my book.
But what you may not know is this particular food comes from the Atlantic Ocean. Still okay in my book.
Take some of this delicious food, boil it a bit, and that thickenin' agent we've been talking about appears. It is natural, and it is in a lot of foods we are eatin', and not just in that chocolate milk.
Ready for the big surprise? Did you guess what carageenan is? It's a food thickenin' agent made outta seaweed.
That's right. Seaweed. Extracted and plopped into somethin' you probably ate today.
I never thought I'd be eatin' seaweed. I mean, I ain't got nothin' against eatin' seaweed if you want to eat it, but I don't know how I feel about it bein' sneaked into my food.
Maybe it's better if I quit readin' those packages. I think I know what milk sugar, chocolate, cocoa butter, and milk fat are, but I don't think I want a short course on why my Hershey's Chocolate Bar has alkali, lactose, soy lecithin, pgpr, vanillin and artificial flavor.
I might find out pgpr and the artificial flavor is what I like best about my favorite candy bar.
And don't get me started about why it costs so much more today than when I was a young pup.
Mares eat oats
And does eat oats
And little lambs eat ivy
A kid’ll eat ivy too
Wouldn’t you?
Jist remember, you heard it here first from Mr. MT Noggin.
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