Forget Your Anniversary
I’ve been married more than three decades. I remember our first anniversary, and I was so clueless I took my wife to Park City. There are lots of upscale shops there in case you’ve never been, and I thought I was being creative. I told my lovely bride to take the checkbook and buy anything she wanted. She cried, but not for joy. She wanted a well-thought out present; one that I had put some time and thought into. I can’t remember what happened after that, but I guess the good news is that the fiasco didn’t end in divorce.
Fast forward a few years, and my wife tells me now if I did the same thing she would be off and spending like the roadrunner. Of course I have a few more years under my belt now, and there is no way I would ever make that offer again. Spending years together can teach you lots of stuff.
Recently we were about to celebrate our 32nd anniversary. I had even put some thought into what to do, and we had both discussed the fact we should probably buy a combined gift. That’s as far as the discussion ever got, but we both remembered our anniversary was fast approaching.
I was going to be busy with two different things going on at school, and we are both very involved people. Suffice it say we sometimes get so busy we neglect remembering certain things. Like anniversaries.
On October 14th, 2009, we both got up to get ready for school. This is the day of our anniversary, and neither of us said a word about it as we spent about an hour together before going to work. So far so good. If neither of us remember, then there is no one to blame.
As my day rolls along, one of the students in my first class asks me the date so he can write it on his assignment. “I think it’s October…14th,” I said. Then to no one in particular I also said “Why does that sound so familiar?” My voice trailed off, and while I knew it must be something important, I went on to the business at hand.
My wife is at her school and remembers our anniversary at lunch, sending me a text message wishing me a happy anniversary. Unfortunately, I had neglected to take my phone to work. The message arrived at home, and I was still clueless.
After lunch I am asked the same question by another student. “What is the date?” This time I didn’t hesitate and succinctly said “October 14th…”, followed by the words, “Oh, crap.” The students look up at me and ask what’s wrong.
“It’s my anniversary,” I sheepishly said to the class. Of course they asked me if I remembered to do anything, and I had to say no. But then I also remembered I was teaching a workshop my wife would be attending. My wife had volunteered me to teach the class, and she would be one of the students. I had about 3 hours to get something, and my class suggested I get some roses on the way. I followed their suggestion, and had a dozen roses on the way.
We were meeting at a different school, so I prayed I would arrive first. As luck would have it, I did get there first, and was able to give her flowers as she arrived. She was pleasantly surprised, and insisted she had remembered first, which her text would prove.
I don’t think it was really enough, since she ignored what I was teaching to the other people. She was checking her e-mail, not following directions and ignoring me. Teachers really do make the worst students, and when the teacher forgets an anniversary the student may be justified in misbehaving. But if you think about it, she really didn’t need to pay attention in class. She knows I will show her what we learned sometime in the future when she wants to learn it.
We were both dumfounded that we had completely spaced our anniversary. I think it may have had something to do with the fact we couldn’t celebrate until the weekend since I was also teaching public speaking later that same night. And the next night. So maybe the pressure was off.
But later in the week we went to one of our favorite restaurants and had some good company and some good food. It makes me wonder if there are marriages out there which have ended because one or the other partner forgot the anniversary.
What is the end result when both people forget? Now you know the answer. Both people sheepishly admit they forgot and they have dinner later.
I hope I don’t forget again.
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