Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Abundance Dec 26 Organization

Go to Abundance for more selections, including other original pieces by Dane Allred and his audio versions of many famous short stories and poems called Literature Out Loud, plus lots more!!

Click on the player to hear the audio from the episode.

This is the entire episode from Dec. 26th called Organization. The program "Abundance" included the following episodes:

Colorblind -- a limerick

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Dane Allred -- They're Not Mad at Us

Character Central -- W.C. Fields, Forrest Gump and Leo

Rules of Engagement -- Chemical Hazards

Bright Space -- Work

Literature Out Loud -- The Romance of a Busy Broker by O. Henry

The Aged Aged Man by Lewis Carroll

The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Anderson

Dane Allred's Partly-colored Dreamcoat -- Accepting Difference

Full text of each piece with accompanying audio is available at Podbean. See grouped episodes for details.


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Monday, December 27, 2010

The Aged Aged Man by Lewis Carroll

Go to Literature Out Loud -- Poems for a complete list of all poems available at Literature Out Loud.



Click on the player to hear an audio version of this poem.

The Aged Aged Man

by Lewis Carroll

I'll tell thee everything I can;
There's little to relate.
I saw an aged aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
"Who are you, aged man?" I said,
"And how is it you live?"
And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve.

He said, "I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat:
I make them into mutton-pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men," he said,
"Who sail on stormy seas;
And that's the way I get my bread,
A trifle; if you please."

But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one's whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried, "Come, tell me how you live!"
And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said, "I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowland's Macassar-Oil,
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil."

But I was thinking of a way
To feed oneself on batter,
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter.
I shook him well from side to side,
Until his face was blue:
"Come, tell me how you live," I cried,
"And what it is you do!"

He said, "I hunt for haddocks' eyes
Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine,
But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.

"I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs;
I sometimes search the grassy knolls
For wheels of hansom-cabs.
And that's the way" (he gave a wink)
"By which I get my wealth,
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honour's noble health."

I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,
But chiefly for his wish that he
Might drink my noble health.

And now, if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
I weep, for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know,
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow,
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
Who snorted like a buffalo,
That summer evening long ago
A-sitting on a gate.

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The Romance of a Busy Broker by O.Henry / William Sydney Porter

Go to Literature Out Loud -- Short Stories for a complete list of all short stories available at Literature Out Loud.
Click on the player to hear an audio version of this short story.



The Romance of a Busy Broker

by O.Henry / William Sydney Porter


Pitcher, confidential clerk in the office of Harvey Maxwell, broker, allowed a look of mild interest and surprise to visit his usually expressionless countenance when his employer briskly entered at half past nine in company with his young lady stenographer. With a snappy "Good-morning, Pitcher," Maxwell dashed at his desk as though he were intending to leap over it, and then plunged into the great heap of letters and telegrams waiting there for him.

The young lady had been Maxwell's stenographer for a year. She was beautiful in a way that was decidedly unstenographic. She forewent the pomp of the alluring pompadour. She wore no chains, bracelets or lockets. She had not the air of being about to accept an invitation to luncheon. Her dress was grey and plain, but it fitted her figure with fidelity and discretion. In her neat black turban hat was the gold-green wing of a macaw. On this morning she was softly and shyly radiant. Her eyes were dreamily bright, her cheeks genuine peachblow, her expression a happy one, tinged with reminiscence.

Pitcher, still mildly curious, noticed a difference in her ways this morning. Instead of going straight into the adjoining room, where her desk was, she lingered, slightly irresolute, in the outer office. Once she moved over by Maxwell's desk, near enough for him to be aware of her presence.

The machine sitting at that desk was no longer a man; it was a busy New York broker, moved by buzzing wheels and uncoiling springs.

"Well--what is it? Anything?" asked Maxwell sharply. His opened mail lay like a bank of stage snow on his crowded desk. His keen grey eye, impersonal and brusque, flashed upon her half impatiently.

"Nothing," answered the stenographer, moving away with a little smile.

"Mr. Pitcher," she said to the confidential clerk, “did Mr. Maxwell say anything yesterday about engaging another stenographer?"

"He did," answered Pitcher. "He told me to get another one. I notified the agency yesterday afternoon to send over a few samples this morning. It's 9.45 o'clock, and not a single picture hat or piece of pineapple chewing gum has showed up yet."

"I will do the work as usual, then," said the young lady, "until someone comes to fill the place." And she went to her desk at once and hung the black turban hat with the gold-green macaw wing in its accustomed place.

He who has been denied the spectacle of a busy Manhattan broker during a rush of business is handicapped for the profession of anthropology. The poet sings of the "crowded hour of glorious life." The broker's hour is not only crowded, but the minutes and seconds are hanging to all the straps and packing both front and rear platforms.

And this day was Harvey Maxwell's busy day. The ticker began to reel out jerkily its fitful coils of tape, the desk telephone had a chronic attack of buzzing. Men began to throng into the office and call at him over the railing, jovially, sharply, viciously, excitedly. Messenger boys ran in and out with messages and telegrams. The clerks in the office jumped about like sailors during a storm. Even Pitcher's face relaxed into something resembling animation.

On the Exchange there were hurricanes and landslides and snowstorms and glaciers and volcanoes, and those elemental disturbances were reproduced in miniature in the broker's offices. Maxwell shoved his chair against the wall and transacted business after the manner of a toe dancer. He jumped from ticker to 'phone, from desk to door with the trained agility of a harlequin.

In the midst of this growing and important stress the broker became suddenly aware of a high-rolled fringe of golden hair under a nodding canopy of velvet and ostrich tips, an imitation sealskin sacque and a string of beads as large as hickory nuts, ending near the floor with a silver heart. There was a self-possessed young lady connected with these accessories; and Pitcher was there to construe her.

"Lady from the Stenographer's Agency to see about the position," said Pitcher.

Maxwell turned half around, with his hands full of papers and ticker tape.

"What position?" he asked, with a frown.

"Position of stenographer," said Pitcher. "You told me yesterday to call them up and have one sent over this morning."

"You are losing your mind, Pitcher," said Maxwell. "Why should I have given you any such instructions? Miss Leslie has given perfect satisfaction during the year she has been here. The place is hers as long as she chooses to retain it. There's no place open here, madam. Countermand that order with the agency, Pitcher, and don't bring any more of 'em in here."

The silver heart left the office, swinging and banging itself independently against the office furniture as it indignantly departed. Pitcher seized a moment to remark to the bookkeeper that the "old man" seemed to get more absent-minded and forgetful every day of the world.

The rush and pace of business grew fiercer and faster. On the floor they were pounding half a dozen stocks in which Maxwell's customers were heavy investors. Orders to buy and sell were coming and going as swift as the flight of swallows. Some of his own holdings were imperiled, and the man was working like some high-geared, delicate, strong machine--strung to full tension, going at full speed, accurate, never hesitating, with the proper word and decision and act ready and prompt as clockwork. Stocks and bonds, loans and mortgages, margins and securities--here was a world of finance, and there was no room in it for the human world or the world of nature.

When the luncheon hour drew near there came a slight lull in the uproar.

Maxwell stood by his desk with his hands full of telegrams and memoranda, with a fountain pen over his right ear and his hair hanging in disorderly strings over his forehead. His window was open, for the beloved janitress Spring had turned on a little warmth through the waking registers of the earth.

And through the window came a wandering--perhaps a lost--odor--a delicate, sweet odor of lilac that fixed the broker for a moment immovable. For this odor belonged to Miss Leslie; it was her own, and hers only.

The odor brought her vividly, almost tangibly before him. The world of finance dwindled suddenly to a speck. And she was in the next room--twenty steps away.

"By George, I'll do it now," said Maxwell, half aloud. "I'll ask her now. I wonder I didn't do it long ago."

He dashed into the inner office with the haste of a short trying to cover. He charged upon the desk of the stenographer.

She looked up at him with a smile. A soft pink crept over her cheek, and her eyes were kind and frank. Maxwell leaned one elbow on her desk. He still clutched fluttering papers with both hands and the pen was above his ear.

"Miss Leslie," he began hurriedly, "I have but a moment to spare. I want to say something in that moment. Will you he my wife? I haven't had time to make love to you in the ordinary way, but I really do love you. Talk quick, please--those fellows are clubbing the stuffing out of Union Pacific."

"Oh, what are you talking about?" exclaimed the young lady. She rose to her feet and gazed upon him, round-eyed.

"Don't you understand?" said Maxwell, restively. "I want you to marry me. I love you, Miss Leslie. I wanted to tell you, and I snatched a minute when things had slackened up a bit. They're calling me for the 'phone now. Tell 'em to wait a minute, Pitcher. Won't you, Miss Leslie?"

The stenographer acted very queerly. At first she seemed overcome with amazement; then tears flowed from her wondering eyes; and then she smiled sunnily through them, and one of her arms slid tenderly about the broker's neck.

"I know now," she said, softly. "It's this old business that has driven everything else out of your head for the time. I was frightened at first. Don't you remember, Harvey? We were married last evening at 8 o'clock in the Little Church around the Corner."


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Bright Space -- Work

Go to Abundance for more selections by Dane Allred, including other episodes from Bright Space, plus lots more!!Click on the player to hear an audio version of this piece.

Bright Space

Work


by Dane Allred

As we work side by side
Trying to get back to that Bright Space
We all shared
We organize ourselves to do our best
We try to experience all there is
So when we go back we will know all there is to know.

I circle in my sphere
Completing my tasks
And you complete yours
While circling in your sphere
And sometimes our paths cross

When we meet in this way we find we are doing the same work
Working in our own way
But accomplishing the same thing.

We recognize that Brightness for a moment
And remember that we must remember all of this
So when we are together again
We can share all that we have learned.

You must do those things you are to do.
I have my list as well.
But unknown to us is how our works
Will complement each other
When all is done that must be done.

You and I will have many stories to share
And we will remember the time our spheres connected
For a moment
And we recalled the Bright Space
That Bright Space we left to be here on our own
When all we had ever known was being together.

We came here to find out what we could never know together
And will return to share
And again we will be all there ever was, ever is, or ever will be.

Pay attention to those moments when our worlds coalesce
Remember that Bright Place which still connects us.
And then we will go our separate ways again.

You work in your place
I work in mine
But the work is important
It all works together even though it seems random
It might seem unimportant
It is the most important thing we can do.

Though there seems no order in what we do
Though chaos seems to dominate all we see
Our plan to find out all we ever could
Brings us closer to being together in that Bright Space again.


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Chemical Hazards

Go to Abundance for more selections by Dane Allred, including other episodes from Rules of Engagement, plus lots more!!
Click on the player to hear an audio version of this piece.


CHEMICAL HAZARDS


I guess one of the reasons I don't take my injuries too seriously is that I have seen real suffering up close. Anything I have been through is nothing compared to the pain and stress of cancer treatment. I don't think I could put on as brave a face as my wife when she had cancer fifteen years ago.

The bone cancer was discovered. She went through two major surgeries and the recovery process, and was now missing parts of three of her ribs. But the worst was yet to come.

Chemotherapy is designed to kill cancer cells lurking in your body, but it almost kills the patient, too. She was on a special protocol designed by the top doctors in the world, and after the first treatment she was so sick she almost quit.

We called the doctors and they decided she could probably get by on a reduced dose, but she would still have to go through six courses of treatment.

Even getting ready for the chemotherapy involved surgery. She had to have a sub-dermal catheter which would stay in her body for the course of treatment. It looked like a doctor's stethoscope end, and they buried it under her skin just below her right clavicle. It was a bump about an inch around, and when they wanted to administer the chemotherapy, they would strap a fanny pack full of the chemicals to her hip and run a tube from it to her catheter. She would then go back to school and teach the rest of the day as the chemical coursed through her body.

Here's the strangest thing anyone said to us during the chemotherapy ordeal. Since she would be carrying around the treatment with her during the day, the oncology nurse said, "Don't get this on your skin."

The nurse was worried she may spring a leak during the day and have the chemicals get on bare skin. Now think about this for a moment. During chemotherapy you are pumping deadly chemicals throughout your body which are not supposed to get on your skin?

It made us both laugh out loud. It seemed so insane that this was the way where you could kill cancer, by almost killing the patient.

Getting the chemo was the easy part. Enduring the effects was so hard that Debbie wanted to quit several times, and almost couldn't make it through the entire treatment.

After the first treatment, her hair fell out. It would come out in clumps into her hand, and she just tossed it into the garbage can. By the end of the week she was mostly bald. The hairdresser shaved off the rest.

Guys can have a bald head and no one thinks anything about it. But as soon as I see a bald woman I now think chemotherapy. I even think this if I see a woman wearing a scarf which completely covers her head. But the good news is that Debbie has a beautiful bald head.

The chemotherapy treatments would so devastate Debbie's body that sometimes she would need to go to the hospital for fluids and monitoring. She would also sometimes need to get Nupogen treatments to boost her white blood cells.

Here's a strange medical twist. If you are getting chemotherapy, you can't get the treatment if your white blood count is too low, which is one of the purposes of chemotherapy. So if the chemotherapy is working, your white blood count goes down. But if it gets too low, you can't get the treatment.

So cancer patients get a treatment to raise their white blood cell count, so they can go back in later and get chemotherapy which will lower their white blood count again. There must be an easier way to do this.

One time Debbie had an especially bad reaction to the fourth or fifth treatment. She was in the hospital in a lot of pain, and I think the staff had given her too much morphine. She was struggling to breathe, and several times she stopped breathing.

I would gently shake her and tell her to keep breathing. There was equipment in the room which would have alerted the nurses if I hadn't been there, but it was one moment in this miserable process when I felt like I was actually helping.

About the only other thing I could do was give her ice chips when she was in the hospital, which ended up being 10 or more trips. The doctors and nurses did a great job, organized and prepared in a way which is truly amazing to see.

When I think about the advances in science, medicine, and technology, I can’t wait to see what the future will bring. Join me as we journey into a future of possibilities.


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Sunday, December 26, 2010

W.C. Fields, Forrest Gump and Leo on Character Central

Go to Abundance for more selections, including other original pieces by Dane Allred and his audio versions of many famous short stories and poems called Literature Out Loud, plus lots more!!

Click on the player for an audio version of this piece.
Leo
Character Central, this is Leo speakin’. Who you lookin’ for?
Dane
Could I speak to W.C. Fields please?
Leo
Just a minute. W.C.?
Forrest
You need to go to the bathroom?
Leo
No, not the water closet, you moron. Go get W.C. Fields.
Forrest
Okay Lieutenant Dan.
Leo
Stop calling me Lieutenant Dan! Just go get the old drunk.
Forrest
Yes sir, drill sergeant sir!
Leo
That nut is goin’ drive me crazy. Can I tell Mr. Fields whom is calling?
Dane
Yes, I’m Dane Allred calling for Abundance.
Leo
Abundance? You ain’t gonna get no abundance here, pally.
Dane
No, the program is called Abundance.
Leo
Oh yeah, that crazy guy who goes on and on about all the good t’ings in life.
Dane
Yes, that’s me, Dane Allred.
Leo
Well, I got your Abundance right here! Who is dis being billed to?
Dane
Can you use the same card as last time?
Leo
Let me look. Abundance, abundance, use Bill Gates lost credit card?
Dane
That would be fine.

Leo
Gotcha. Here’s W.C. Fields. But don’t talk too long cause I ain’t gonna stand here and prop him up. He’s pretty wobbly today.
Dane
Okay.
Leo
And thank you for using Character Central, your source for the formerly famous. Here’s the phone, you old booze-hound.
W.C.
Thank you my good man. It’s not a fit night out for man nor beast.
Dane
Is this W.C. Fields?
W.C.
Speaking. And how can I help you my good man?
Dane
Well, today on Abundance we are talking about organization. Do you have any organizational tips for my audience?
W.C.
Ornamentation? I’m in favor of it.
Dane
No, organization.
W.C.
Oh, organization. That reminds me, a woman drove me to drink and I never even had the decency to thank her.
Dane
So you’re suggesting making a list of people to thank? Any other suggestions?
W.C.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things fish do in it. Water; that’s the stuff that rusts pipes. Excuse me for a moment, I must have a drink of breakfast.
Dane
You don’t drink water at all?
W.C.
I never drink water. I’m afraid it may become habit-forming.
Dane
Well, speaking of habits, do you foresee a time you will ever stop drinking alcohol?
W.C.
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.
Dane
You have quit drinking before. Was there an organized program?
W.C.
Yes. Once during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Dane
Any other times you’ve quit?
W.C.
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
Dane
Do you have any other preferences you’d like to share with us?
W.C.
On the whole, I’d rather be in Philadelphia.
Dane
You don’t like living there at Character Central?
W.C.
No. Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.
Dane
But, really, Philadelphia. I’ve never heard you speak well of that town.
W.C.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia. I think it was a Sunday.
Dane
Seriously?
W.C.
Oh, yes. Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.
Dane
So, Mr. Fields, any other advice for our listeners about trying to get organized?
W.C.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.
Dane
Well, that is sound advice. Thank you W.C. Fields for speaking with us today on Abundance.
W.C.
I thought we were talking about ornamentation.
Dane
No, we’re focusing on organization on the program called Abundance. I believe in celebrating the abundance all around us.
W.C.
A man’s gotta believe in something, and I believe I’ll have another drink. And like I say, if you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. Good day to you, Mr. Gates.
Dane
No, its Dane Allred, we just use this card I found…
Music interruption.
Dane
Thanks to Mr. W.C. Fields who joined us today on Abundance from Character Central.
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Colorblind -- a limerick by Dane Allred

Go to Abundance for more selections, including other original pieces by Dane Allred and his audio versions of many famous short stories and poems called Literature Out Loud, plus lots more!!Click on the player to hear an audio version of this limerick.

Colorblind
by Dane Allred

So organizing’s over-rated
What if my pants and socks aren’t mated
Green, lemon, red, scarlet
Grey, crimson, violet
Aren’t colors equally created?

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