Evil Banker Audition

I have a commercial running on television right now, and I have been in several local and national commercials. It sounds like it would be a glamorous thing to do, but being an actor is anything but glamorous. The pay is poor, the hours are terrible, and usually it really doesn’t matter if you have any talent.

Since I act in a “right to work” state, minimum wage is usually the standard for acting work. Actually, you can end up getting paid less than minimum if you agree to the terms, and sometimes I have taken terrible pay for the chance to do some work. Here’s an example. I was asked to be the teacher for an ITT technical college ad about 15 years ago. Apparently the director and the cinematographer were from Cuba, and were a father and son combination. The dad didn’t speak any English, and my one line was “Now I want you to evaluate the network”, or something like that. I heard later that most of the film shot that day was useless, and the ad agency ended up using whatever wasn’t horrible. I worked about 12 hours that day and earned one hundred dollars. That’s a bit more than minimum wage, but this was a commercial which ran nationwide for at least a couple of years.

Again, since we do things differently here, I didn’t receive residuals no matter how many times they used it. They could still use it today. This is called a buyout. You get one payment and never see another cent.

Sometimes the contract is negotiated a little better. But no one I know in our state makes a living working as an actor in television, film or commercials. But again, this is one of the reasons people like to shoot here. We have very good quality here. So we are inexpensive – but not cheap.

I’ve played a Jerry Springer look-alike in a weight-loss commercial which was shot here and shown in Bakersfield, California. I went to Elko one day and shot a gambling commercial which is only shown there. The best I’ve ever been paid was to be one of the telegraph pole sitters in an MTI commercial which was only shown in three cities, and at the stockholders meeting. Go figure.

You really don’t need talent to do most of this work. I don’t get everything I audition for, and that’s okay. I still go audition, and sometimes I get the part. I’ve tried to sell Kevin Eubank a white jacket, and been the boss wearing a cheese hat in a diamond commercial. I’ll talk about the strange hours in another episode. Don’t get me started now.

But the strangest audition I ever did was for a part I call “evil banker”. Since most agencies are an hour away, I drive up, audition and drive back. Sometimes I only say a sentence or two. But for this part all I had to do was make a motion like I was directing a crane to put a big sign on a wall. So delving into my vast crane direction experience, I moved my hands up and down, and maybe a little sideways.

I got the part, and I was excited. I must have been brilliant. But the real news is this commercial was shot for the state credit unions. The point of the commercial was that banks go in and out of business while the credit union stays put. So my part was to direct the changing signs while the credit union guy shook his head at all the change.

I was even more deflated when I learned there would be no close-ups. Think of Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard, where she says, “I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. De Mille.” It’s an actor’s favorite part, since everyone and anyone will be able to recognize them. The camera would be set up down the street on a scaffold, and only get long shots of the credit union guy and me. The changing signs were the most important part of the ad.

To add insult to injury, I was taking a day off work to do the commercial and only being paid one hundred dollars, so I was probably losing money. To help save money, actors are sometimes asked to bring their own clothes for costumes. Think about it. They fit, and if I bring four or five different things for the costume person to choose, they don’t have to buy clothes.

So let’s summarize this commercial. I didn’t speak; I got the part because I gestured well; I lost money and I wouldn’t be seen. Even when I told people I was the guy in the commercial, they looked at with skepticism.

Who says acting isn’t glamorous?

Dane Allred's podcast of this blog from his program "Abundance".

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