Kids is Kids

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Dane Allred’s Rules of Engagement

Kids is Kids

As positive as I try to be, there are times when I do have a bad attitude. I didn’t like hearing the word “grandpa” from a grandchild for the first time, but with a little work, I think I’m getting used to it. My mother especially liked calling me “grandpa” until I reminded her she was now a great-grandmother.

Even though my blood type is B positive, even though I teach in room A1, and even though I try to remember to sign my name with a little hidden plus sign underneath to remind me to be positive, I too can have a bad reaction once in a while. But that just gives me an opportunity to try and apply my “be the abundance” philosophy to myself. When I realized I was going to lose a Saturday recently for which I had planned other events, I got the chance to first react badly and feel cheated out of my plans. But when I calmed down and re-examined the situation, I realized I would be able to do much more good if I buckled down and helped out. I got to spend a Saturday with grandkids, they helped clean up a play area which they played in for hours, and I even got to do some of those things I had planned to otherwise do on that day. I even geared up my best attitude adjustment and did the dishes.

My daughter has just been blessed with the birth of two twin boys who are healthy, happy and back home from the hospital. Someone once said, “A baby is the universe’s opinion that this world should go on.” So twins give me a double boost of optimism for the future of this spinning blue marble. Someone out there wants us to keep trying.

Don Herold said it this way, “Babies are such a nice way to start people.” I don’t think there is a person alive who can’t wonder at the miracle of life when holding a newborn baby, and you ought to try holding two at the same time. It will give you a whole new attitude about your own problems. Groucho Marx illustrated this when he said, “My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.” Another anonymous speaker summarized having kids like this, “Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.”

Parents won’t agree with what George Bernard Shaw said about children. He said, “There may be some doubt as to who are the best people to have in charge of children, but there is no doubt that parents are the worst.” Those of us who are now grandparents are just grateful we can send unruly children back to their parents. But when you are a parent, what can you do. It reminds me of another old saying, “Having children will turn you into your parents.” Most of those who have become parents can relate to this idea. The first time you hear those same words you used to hear your mother or father warn you with coming from your own mouth are very surprising moments. Just don’t make me turn this car around.

But we don’t have to lose our youthful outlook and optimism as we age. Just because we know more about the suffering and struggles of the world doesn’t mean we can’t keep working to make this a better place. But you may feel like John Wilmot, who once said, “Before I got married I had six theories about children. Now I have six children and no theories.” Maybe it’s time to invent a new theory about how this world can work.

Think about it this way. We can’t seem to get along, even though we are all related in one way or another. You could use the Adam and Eve story to illustrate the point, but really, there were so few people in the past that there is no way mathematically that we aren’t direct descendants of almost everyone who lived a couple of thousand years ago or more. We’re all related to Jesus, Buddha, Confucius, and Muhammed. If we are all consanguineous, or related by blood in one way or another, why can’t we get along? Maybe that is the answer. See that Cain and Abel story for details.

But think about it this way. If you have ever changed a diaper, you may have the perfect perspective on how to change the world. If it stinks, throw it out. If it needs changing, ignoring it won’t make the room smell sweeter. Instead of complaining about the problem, get up and do the work.

Just remember, if your parents didn't have any children, neither will you. If you don’t fix the problem, who will?