Go to Abundance for more selections by Dane Allred, including other episodes from Rules of Engagement, plus lots more!!
Click on the player to hear an audio version of this episode.
Fighting Words
If you check in the Bible, one of the first jobs for Adam was naming the animals. Mark Twain said it this way, “I think Adam was at his level best when he was naming the creatures.” Adam named the animals before Eve was created, and this is probably so he would not be corrected. I like that old sexist joke, “If there is man talking in the woods, and there is no woman around to correct him, is he still wrong?” Of course the answer from the ladies is “yes”.
I’m not sure when I became such an avid promoter of names. Names can tell us quite a bit about the status of this thing, or that thing, or this person or that society. We label with names, but we also use these handles to identify ourselves and make sense of our world. I am very passionate about knowing the names of other people, especially my students. I make them learn each other’s names. I test them on it. I do my best to always try to use their names when I see them, and as I practice more, I get better at identifying them.
So what’s the big deal? Someone once said the most beautiful sound in the universe is the sound of our own names. Think about it. It validates you as a person. It means someone else has acknowledged you exist. And they want to let you know they know you are here. What sweeter sound could there be?
Knowing someone else’s name shows you care. Not knowing their name is a kind of snub. We can overcome this by pretending we know their name. But it really isn’t the same as the real, live use of the name of another person.
One time I was glad I knew one of my student’s names. This particular student was a little disturbed, and in a public school, we accept all kinds of people. Some students are being treated by psychologists or other mental health professionals, but does that mean we don’t let them get an education? It’s another reason I like teaching in public schools. If the student isn’t a danger to others, all of us can learn some interesting things about each others. Sometimes we discover a student doesn’t belong in school, and they are taken from school.
While this person who shall remain nameless seemed to get along with his fellow students, I had no idea another student was harassing him. It had reached a point where he took matters into his own hands, and one day, pulled out a knife and threatened the other student.
I am sitting at the front of the room and see at the back of the room what I thought was an otherwise passive student pointing a knife at one of my other students. I have a couple of choices, but when something like this happens, you don’t always have a chance to weigh your options. I immediately shouted his name and demanded he bring the knife to me, at the front of the class.
Think about how stupid this is for a response. Instead of calmly walking to the back and handling the situation in a calm manner, I shouted. I also told him to walk the knife up to the front of the class, which would cause him to pass several other students on the way to the front. Luckily, he was only mad at the person standing four or five feet away from him, and he instantly obeyed, walking the knife to the front of the room and placing it in my hand. He didn’t stab anyone else, and he didn’t stab me, and we quietly walked down to the office together.
Sometimes things work out when we know the right names to shout. But the more important concept I’m trying to communicate here is that without names, we walk around saying, “Hey, you!” to other people. I don’t think he would have brought the knife to me if I had done that.
I have been in other student scuffles, and sometimes even knowing the name and the students doesn’t help. I’ve broken up girl fights where one of the combatants was a student of mine, and I knew her very well. The problem with girl fights is they tend to get so emotional they don’t know what they are doing, and she ended up hitting me a couple of times. She even bled on one of my best shirts.
The last girl fight I got hit in the face and didn’t even know it. Some of my other students who were passively watching told me I got hit, but I don’t remember it.
Maybe if had known her name, I could have asked her why she hit me.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment