Windsurfing

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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Dane Allred

Windsurfing

I used to hate the wind. When I was a kid, riding uphill against the wind was the worst thing ever. But now, I pay attention and hope for wind. Not a huge wind, but I am especially glad when there is just enough wind. Just enough wind for what?

Well, I have been known to shop around surplus sales for good deals, and a few years ago I saw a really interesting auction for something at the local air force base. I won the auction, and went to pick up my prize. I had won a windsurfer.

About 40 years ago, someone had the brilliant idea of combining a surfboard and a sailboat. You balance on the surfboard, hold the sail and let the wind drag you along. Once you learn to tack, or sail against the wind, you can go back and forth to just about anywhere you want. It took me a few times to get how to windsurf, since all I could do for a while is let the wind blow me wherever it wanted to. But it really has turned into a fun hobby.

It has been an interesting transition to go from hating the wind to looking forward to a nice breeze. Sometimes I leave work and feel that slight movement of air and try to decide if I have enough time before sunset to get some windsurfing in. I need to be careful, because sometimes I am not so smart.

One day in late October, summer returned and the temperature was in the 80’s. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon on a Monday night, and when I left work there was a perfect breeze and a couple of hours of light left in the day. I rushed home and loaded the board and sail onto the top of my car and hurried to the sandy beach where I usually launched. The water was on the cool side, but the wind was perfect. I felt like I could sail straight across the lake and back in record time, so I leaned into the wind and took off.

If you are tacking against the wind, you can go faster than the wind is blowing. This is because you are sliding sideways in the water. I don’t think I had ever gone as fast as I did that afternoon, and pretty soon, I was about halfway across the lake. I had traveled about 4 miles or more, and the sun was getting low. That’s when the wind stopped.

Without wind, a windsurfer is pretty much dead in the water. You can sit on the board and paddle a little, but you won’t get very far. The sun went down. It started to get colder, and I was wearing a swimsuit. The moon went down. It was almost pitch black, and I could see the water a few yards around me. I fell in the water a few times, and it was starting to get really cold. I figured I better not fall in again, because I didn’t think I would be able to stay warm enough to last the night. I sat on the edge of the board and paddled a bit, but I wasn’t going anywhere.

Someone had lit a bonfire pretty close to where I was parked on the beach. I knew I could use it as a reference point if the wind came back up. About one o’clock in the morning, the wind came back. I had been on the lake for about eight hours now, and there were times I was ready to give up. But with the wind blowing me back toward the fire, it didn’t take too long to land back on the beach. It was so dark I couldn’t see where my Jeep was parked. I guessed the wrong direction and walked about a mile on the beach until I found the fence that told me I had gone the wrong way. Meantime, the bonfire partiers were doing some target practice. I tried to stay calm, and hoped I wouldn’t end up shot instead of stuck on the lake. When I reached the board again, I continued about 100 feet and there was the car. I decided to carry the board to the car and stay quiet. When I was ready, I started up the car and went home. Nobody shot me.

I got home at two o’clock in the morning. No one had seen my note about going windsurfing, and since I am often gone nights, everyone was sound asleep. I was glad no one had called search and rescue. I went to work the next day after a couple of hours of sleep. I didn’t windsurf again until the next summer. That’s probably a good thing.


This is another episode of “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Dane Allred”. From the weekly broadcast of “Abundance”. Tune each week from 7 to 8 P.M. Mountain Standard Time (9 to 10 EST) or listen on any web browser at www.k-talk.com.